Over
the weekend in Vallejo, a 21-year-old unidentified moron bet his
friends $100 that he could fit into a baby swing at a local park. He
lubed up with laundry detergent and slipped into the bucket swing.
Guess what happened next.
According to the story on SFGate, he promptly became stuck. Swelling
and circulation issues made it impossible for him to get out on his
own, said Vallejo police Sgt. Jeff Bassett. And then his friends left
him. (Hahaahahaaaa!)
Nine hours later, at about six o’clock the next morning a
groundskeeper heard him screaming for help and called authorities who
came to free him.
To add insult to injury, or maybe as I like to believe, because he
deserved it, Vallejo firefighters decided the best tactic to go about
freeing him was to cut the chains and then transport him to the nearest
hospital STILL WEARING THE SWING. He arrived at Kaiser Permanente
Vallejo Medical Center, still wrapped in the diaper-like seat.
Firefighters used a cast cutter to finally get the makeshift diaper off
of him. The man sustained non-life threatening injuries.
I think he should’ve been made to perform a one-man shame parade
through the middle of town. Still wearing the “diaper-like” bucket
swing.
Idiot.
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